Pondering On Love
I have probably written a blog about this subject already. More than once. But today during my meditation I had new insights on the subject I want to share with you. I was meditating on the prayer that the Sajag Marg, the natural way meditation, prescribes.
The prayer goes something like this:
Oh, Master, you are the ultimate goal of human life,
But all we are is slaves to expectations that undermine our way.
You are the only power/God that can advance us.
Here is my interpretation of the prayer and a discussion that leads to illuminations.
“Master, you are the ultimate goal”: The Master is God and that is the one we are praying to. It is God who is the ultimate goal of human life.
This is a strange goal, right? To be like God?
We need to interpret what God is.
God is ultimate love.
So, the goal is to be ultimate love.
But how can we be love?
By living a life of love.
That makes sense to me because I think everything we do is in order to experience love. Why do we create, work, do whatever we do? It is to experience love. I even believe that all this crazy chasing after money and status is a neurotic way to “buy” love; how much money we have is in order to be appreciated, and where we are on the totem pole is an unconscious way of trying to get others to respect us. Both are attempts to get to love.
It makes sense to me that the ultimate goal of life is to experience love continuously, permanently. Love is the ultimate integration, harmony.
And it makes sense that expectations bar our way to experience love.
They mar the road. They block the experience. They undermine the feeling.
Because expectations often—if not usually, depending how big our ego is—end in disappointment and disappointments negate and undermine the experience of love.
Now a dilemma from the prayer:
If love is our ultimate goal, how can love be the only power to get us there? Sounds like a chicken-and-egg problem.
There is an answer?
Love is like a muscle, says the guru Chariji. The more you use it, the more you have of it; that is, the more love you give, the more love you have.
Love is not a mechanistic concept. It is organic. It grows and it decays. It grows if you feed it. And you feed it by experiencing it; if you do not experience it, it atrophies.
Start loving and keep going.
Just show up and be it.
Now a doubt.
To say, “You are the only power to advance us” sounds very debilitating. If love is a muscle, then we cannot be passive. We need to be active. If it is a muscle, we have to take action and do something, right? Then this prayer giving the power to somebody else does not make sense.
Yes it does.
Love happens when you do nothing. Just let it be. Like Gurudev, another guru, says, “When you resist nothing, you automatically experience love.” Just stop thinking. Just let it be. Be like a…dog.
Yes, a dog.
Look at how your dog behaves when you get home.
It runs to you wiggling its tail and rubbing its body against you. It is so happy to see you. Did it sit and wait to see whether or not you would show your love? Did it weigh the pros and cons?
The dog lives in the moment. It does not think, “Oh, I got rejected yesterday so I’d better wait and see what is going on today before I dare to show my love.”
There is no tomorrow, either. The dog does not wonder, “If I show my love today how will you pay me back tomorrow?” None of that. It sees you, it runs to you, and loves. The dog loves to see you unconditionally. Period.
In other words, it has no fear of love.
Fear of love? What is that?
Well, love is scary.
Why is it that we think so much before we dare to express love? Because it hurts. It bloody hurts. It is like a fire. It burns. When you love you open your heart, and when you get rejected, or you think you were rejected, it hurts. It hurts badly. Your heart bleeds. And to think your love was rejected is as painful as if it actually had been rejected.
Aha. The source of the pain?
If you want to experience love, stop bloody thinking. The dog does not think. It just loves. So, be like a dog. Or like the clown in the movie “The Seventh Seal” by Ingmar Bergman. In the movie there are two main characters. The first is a crusader who plays a chess game with death, and the day he loses the game he dies. The other main character is a clown, married with a child, living very frugally and spending his time laughing and playing with his toddler son and hugging his wife. At the end of the movie the crusader loses the game and departs to heaven or hell, I do not know which, and the clown is in a field of flowers hugging and kissing a laughing toddler. He is left to live.
The clown clowns around all day long. He just laughs and makes people laugh. He is not the serious, thinking, brooding crusader crusading for a higher goal. The clown just lives and loves.
I saw the movie when I was in high school, and when the teacher asked me with whom I identified, I said the crusader. She said, “That is because you are still young.”
How right she was.
Now, as I have lived long enough to realize, I hope, what life is about, I think the crusader just wasted his life playing the game of chess with death. Fighting death by crusading for a cause. The one who lived was the one who just loved, just laughed, and just let it be.
So, dear friends, the more you experience love, the more you will experience it. (This sentence is not an editing error.)
Just let love take hold of your life. Just let it be. Stop thinking and judging and wondering and weighing pros and cons. Just let it be. Be like a dog. With no fear. Just take the plunge and love. And if you are rejected go sulk for a moment or two and then love again. Like a dog.
Love everybody and everything. Without expectations. Without prejudging. Without fear. Without wants. Without nothing. Just experience it like you experience nature or good music or good art.
Love your clients. Love the products you produce. Love your workers. And, yes, love your boss. Just love fully, and you will love like God and it will feel like you have lived forever.
Ichak Kalderon Adizes