Hmmmmm.  The reaction to my blog on narcissistic people made me rethink what I said in that blog.

I am very happy to rethink it. It is the purpose of the blog: not to present “The Truth,” but to express opinions based on observations and try to get a deeper understanding of what was observed by reading what other people have to say.

So, let start again.

Non-programmed decisions use psychological energy.

Psychological energy is fixed.

And here was the first challenge to my statement: how did I arrive at the conclusion that psychological energy is fixed?

Good question.

I have no proof by running any controlled experiments, scientifically.  Often the proof, if you can call it “a proof,” is that you act in a certain way based on your unproven assumption and if your action works, your assumption must have been right too. Not a scientific proof but an operational one.

I assumed energy is fixed, and when I coach narcissistic executives, I pay attention not to rob them of energy. And guess what? It works.

With non-creative people you can rob them of energy and they do not react in the same way like narcissists would.

So apparently my assumption on fixed psychological energy is right.

Another base for my claim on fixed energy is the fact, told to me by a Nobel Prize recipient in physics, that energy is fixed everywhere. In space as well. So why would it not be true with psychological energy?   Don’t we all get tired when facing a problem?  Exhausted. No?

So, allow me to continue.

Let us assume that psychological energy IS fixed at a point in time. Does it mean that all creative people are narcissists?

Hmmmmm.

I would say so, but with different degrees of narcissism, which begs the question what is “narcissism”?

As I have already reported in the previous blog, narcissism was removed from being a mental disorder by the American Psychological Association, which means to me that some people are more self centered than others and that is normal, not abnormal.

Whoever tries to make a non programmed decision needs energy to do it, and since energy is fixed, the more difficult the problem he or she is struggling with, the more annoyed they will be with any energy being wasted by demands which have nothing to do with the problem they are struggling with (Note how narcissists do not suffer stupid people. They dismiss them in a very offensive way).

Thus, the more creative the person is, the more demanding they will be to be given space and freedom from any interference.

That is apparently why artistic people do not abide very well to boundaries, laws, rules… Abiding to rules and boundaries takes energy…

They want absolute order around them so no energy is wasted and at the same time the freedom to ignore the order, disregard it (but only they have that freedom) again, for the same purpose: to maximize their energy availability.

Also note that creative artistic people have a tendency to get addictions, like to alcohol, drugs, sex. Why? Because the assumption is that alcohol, drugs, sex, give energy. Or stop you from losing energy.

My observation however is that drugs, alcohol and sex without love are like sugar. They give you a high for a while to descend you into a low later on. Only sex with love gives sustainable energy.  Furthermore, my insight is that love, not passion, not sex, true honest LOVE, replenishes lost energy the best, fastest and most sustainably. Don’t we ask for a hug when we are emotionally exhausted?

Now the next question: are all narcissists creative people.

Aha, here I learned something I did not think about before.

Some people try to conserve energy by behaving narcissistically, by being very selfish and self-serving but they are not creative. They create nothing I can identify.

Who are they?

These are the high maintenance people; people who have little or no self respect and self trust, so called no self-esteem.

They need a lot of energy to process their emotional problems. They spend an enormous amount of time and energy between their ears.

Are they creative? Yes, but not to create anything but to deal with their emotional problems. They have to deal with them in a non-programmed decision making process: Why is this happening to me? Why am I failing repetitively? Why they say this about me etc…etc…

The bottom line is:  We should not confuse emotionally problematic people, those who do not have it all together, with functioning, creative problem solving people. The first group uses their psychological energy to treat themselves. The second group uses the fixed energy to create something for others.

They outwardly seem to behave the same way: narcissistically, but the cause is different.

Keep the discussion going. This is interesting.