Attitude for Mutual Trust and Respect
Mutual Trust and Respect have always played a central role in my thinking and, of course, in many of my books.
The reason is simple: They provide the compelling underpinnings that all systems need in order to be successful. And by all systems I mean every kind from an individual (in which case it becomes Self Respect and Self Trust), a family, a business, a society, or even a macro system (meaning a nation-state). I would suggest that the concept applies to the global world as well.
It behooves us then to know how to create and nourish MT&R. If we fail to focus on Trust and Respect, neglect to work on them continuously, our system—individual, business organization, society—will be eroded by change.
That becomes serious.
Because it is important that we place change at the forefront of our thinking. Change is not just any force, but can be destructive enough to cause disintegration. Simply stated, it is a force that generates entropy.
So, to keep any (and every) system healthy, integration…what I call negative entropy…is required. And that is what MT&R does: it integrates.
In my books I have elaborated on ways to build MT&R . And at the Adizes Institute we have created a program built on four factors that help develop MT&R.
They are : 1) common vision and values; 2) functional structure; 3) collaborative decision making process; and 4) mature people.
I know, the concept of mature people seems out of place amidst “functional structure” and “decision making processes.” But bear with me.
In my book How to Solve the Mismanagement Crisis (available www.adizes.com) I pointed out the essential role that mature managers play in solving a variety of crises. When you finished analyzing organizational structures and departmental strategies you still were left with the problem of which men and women were best able to carry out the necessary changes. Invariably, after citing requisite skills and experience, we realized the necessary factor was a human being we considered mature.
And so we came up with nine factors which my research showed mature people possessed: 1) performs all roles of management at least to the threshold level; 2) knows his /her strengths and weaknesses; 3)accepts feedback from others; 4)possesses a balanced view of him/herself; 5 ) understands who He/she is; 6) identifies excellence in others where he / she is weak; 7) recognizes the judgment of others in areas where his/her knowledge is limited ( controlled ego ); 8) resolves conflicts constructively; 9 ) creates a learning environment.
Is that all?
No. I just realized he/she must also have the right attitude.
Here are some interesting quotes I discovered in a yoga class that caught my attention. They seem to me to reflect the right attitude .
I do not know the author of the first quote. If anyone recognizes the source, please let me know.
Here it is:
Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending.
Here is another one:
Give up speed
Give up greed
Be suspicious of urgency
Be curious, not critical
You can be rich by having more than you need,
by needing less than you have.”
And my favorite:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to accept the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.”
How about this one:
“The thing that upsets people is not what happens but what they think it means.”
And the last two for now :
Those whom the gods would destroy, they first make drunk with power.
-Charles A. Beard
“Though the wheels grind slowly, they grind exceedingly fine. “
-Charles A. Beard
It will take time and more work to construct a theory out of these quotes. For now, I hope you find them helpful as you explore ways to develop MT&R.
Dr. Ichak Kalderon Adizes