I know quite a few ladies who complain to me that they cannot find the love of their life.


The common denominator? They all live in big cities with a lot of hustle and a lot of stress. And note, in big cities with a lot of action, people have dogs or cats, someone to greet them with unconditional love when they get home.


Why this deficiency of human love in big active cities?

Here is my insight.


What is love? Integration.


To find love, you must first be “together” yourself—not falling apart physically or mentally. If you are together, your eyes turn outward. Your attention is not on your problems but on other people.


But self-integration is not enough. You must have time to experience love.


Have you ever heard of someone falling in love while running late, trying to catch a plane, or dealing with a crisis at work?


People fall in love on vacation or sitting next to someone on a plane with nothing to do but feel each other and have a peaceful talk.


For love, there must be energy. In order to have that energy, there must be peace and quiet; you must feel complete to be available to receive another person.


I recently did a guided relaxation session with a lady. We spent one hour of peaceful time. She was talking to me in a low voice, guiding me on how to focus on different parts of my body and relax them.


I was falling in love. The peacefulness and low voice that I interpreted as loving did the trick.


Peace >>> Integration >>> Love


If you want to find love, stop running. If you want to keep the love you have, stop running periodically, and have some peace together.


I was told that meditating before having sex increases the experience manifold. Voilà, more proof that peace is the key to finding love, and in this case, making love.


As the Arabic expression goes, the devil is in the hustle. The counter expression should be God is in peace and quiet because God is love.


Just thinking,

Ichak Kalderon Adizes