In my many previous blogs, I have debated what is LOVE, and my conclusion is that it is a total integration.


When you feel in love, you feel totally integrated with your object of love as if you are one and the same; there are no debates in your head: if and when and why and how. Nothing. You feel complete whether it is with a person of the other sex or whether you are in love with your car or home.


That is why some religions say that since God is everywhere and everything, since it is a total integration, God is LOVE.


That is why we are happy when we have love in our life and the more love the happier we are. We are “together” and no energy is wasted on doubts or questions.


Now what is LIFE?


Life is CHANGE.


Without change, there is no life. Look at anything that is alive and notice that it is changing right there in front of your eyes: Children, trees, flowers, horses and even snakes. You name it.  And since your organization, your business, and also your family is changing in its internal dynamics…Guess what? They are alive too.


And what happens in change?






Because all living entities are SYSTEMS. And every system is composed of subsystems by definition. And, those subsystems have their own subsystems ad infinitum.


When there is change the subsystems do not change in synchronicity. Some change faster than others. You, for instance, you could be physically forty years old, intellectually seventy years old because of lots of wisdom generating experiences you have had in life, emotionally still a teenager and spiritually may be not born yet.


Since life is change and change causes disintegration, we can simply conclude that LIFE IS A DISINTEGRATING FORCE.


Let me repeat for emphasis:

LIFE causes disintegration while LOVE causes integration. They are opposite forces.


Oops. Interesting conclusion. At least for me.


It brings me to many insights.


Here is one: If you do not have love in your life, you are falling apart. To fight the difficulties of life is to seek and find and nourish LOVE. Through true, not just ritualistic, religion. By being truly spiritual.  By volunteering in your community, I mean loving your community.  Loving your country. By loving your job through loving your employment and your colleagues.


Love is the antidote to the pain that life brings by its nature.


Insight number 2: How does one find and nourish love?


By slowing down. Have you ever seen anyone falling in love by chasing a bus or working eighty hours a week. People fall in love on vacation, walking on the beach at sunset, having dinner with mellow music at candle light.


“The devil is in the haste”, says the Moslem religion.  To find love, God, happiness, YOU MUST SLOW DOWN.


I am working on it. Because I do just the opposite, working harder and harder, looking for “success” , hoping that it will bring love and happiness. How wrong and misguided. Time to change. And the sooner the better.


Dr. Ichak Kalderon Adizes