The Unnecessary ‘Thank You’
How would you like to meet a mother who tells you she is frustrated? She complains: Her child never thanks her for feeding it, and raising it. And it is hard work, she says.
What do you expect from a mother? To do it out of joy of motherhood. Right?
Why is she mothering her baby if the baby never says thank you? Because she is acting out of love. And it better be that way.
The baby will not grow well if she is doing it with resentment and only because it is a job to be done. Right?
Love is when in the giving is the taking; in the act of giving you get a reward. It is rewarding just to do it. No need for a “thank you” now or ever in the future.
And that is how work should be and not only in motherhood.
I, for instance, need and expect no “thank you” for my lectures. I love to lecture so much that I should thank my audience for letting me speak to them.
I write my blogs and if they are read I am thankful that someone cares to read them. The reward is in writing them.
Is it not interesting that artists on stage, when the show is over, bow to the audience and even clap to the audience? And if they are given flowers they toss them back to the audience.
What is going on?
They thank the audience for being given the chance to show their talent as actors. The audience in its presence enriched them.
I always feel kind of uncomfortable with people who do things for me and then complain that they did not get enough appreciation, that I did not say thank you enough, etc. To an extent, they emotionally exhaust me. Sometimes, if it is done in a pushy and demanding way, it feels like emotional extortion.
I prefer people who do what they do out of love. They enjoy what they are doing so much that a thank you is unnecessary. It is in the realm of nice to, not need to.
You should take a task that you are willing to do even for free. Getting paid is not a need to event, but a nice to event.
It is true one needs to earn a living. To bring the bacon home. To feed the family. So there should be a payment but it is not the goal. It is a collateral benefit.
Working for money is slavery. It is never gratifying enough. No matter how much they pay you, you will want more for the job you are doing and that you do not enjoy.
This conclusion applies to economic theory. Do not work for profit. Profit is not, and should not be the goal. It is the collateral benefit. The goal of a company should be to serve the market, to cause clients satisfaction…profitably. Profit is a condition not a goal.
In 2016, I wish you a year where you do not work for money but for joy.
Ichak Kalderon Adizes