Let the Heart Win

March 1, 2024

Thank you for loving my blog post, "Happiness Is In Small Things." Your kind words have encouraged me to share a chapter from my book, "What Matters in Life." This chapter, "Let the Heart Win," discusses finding happiness by listening to our hearts more than our minds. It's a simple idea: enjoy the moment and the little things around us. I hope you find it as meaningful as the blog.



I have been observing people for many years, and I have realized that if the brain makes the choice, there is a high probability that the person will end up unhappy.

Why is that? Because the brain resides either in the future or in the past. Both can make us unhappy. The past cannot be relived, and its mistakes — or tragedies — cannot be prevented or corrected retroactively. And there is so much uncertainty about the future; it can generate fear and thus unhappiness.

The more cerebral the person is, the unhappier they may become. Less cerebral people, living in the here and now, seem happier. They let the brain rest and focus on the heart. They think less and feel more.

Thinking makes the individual analyze and rationalize, and either one can trigger a negative mindset. Feeling is different. You feel the trees as you pass them; you feel the clouds floating over your head. You don’t wonder how the clouds are made or why they are shaped in a particular way. No thinking: you just feel the clouds, feel the mountains, feel the trees, feel the flowers, feel the people—without judgment.

I believe it is in feeling that we find happiness, but only when we don’t fight what we feel. We just accept it and enjoy the wonders the world offers. The entry point to feel love? Just feel. Do not fight what you feel. Leave the brain alone. When you feel, you get integrated with what you feel. And in that integration, you find a sense of happiness and, through it, love.

We reason with the mind. We feel with the heart. The mind produces thoughts and communicates with words. The heart communicates with feelings.

We differentiate right from wrong in our heads. We form and base our opinions on a myriad of conflicting messages from different sources: friends, family, teachers, books, and experiences. We often tend to suppress what our hearts are telling us and what feels natural. We suppress what our conscience says and use only our brains to justify our deeds.

The key to break this tendency is to detach yourself from your mind and to intentionally feel. To stop the brain for a moment and ask: Does this—the opinion I am defending, the decision we are about to make, etc.—does it feel right, or wrong?

Right and wrong should not only be judged but be felt as well.

Follow your feeling. It comes from the heart and the heart knows best.The heart must watch what we think, not only in meditation but all the time.

The mind shouldn’t be allowed to govern your life alone.

And if the mind and heart are in a conflict you can’t resolve, let the heart win.

Written by
Dr. Ichak Adizes