The Benefits of Not Expecting

March 24, 2023

It is normal to expect; it is normal to want; it is normal to desire. We are human beings with needs, and they're expressed in desiring, wanting, and expecting. The person experiencing the expectation however believes they are in control — that what they wish for should happen. Since we are never fully in control of everything, there is a probability that what we expect will not be realized. It can lead to disappointment. To feel defeated. It is true that if we shoot high, we might reach high goals, but the horizon moves. As a consequence—no matter how much we achieve—we still want more. If we expect it, our disappointments multiply and are continuous. The more ambitious a person is, the more disappointments that person will experience. Some ambitious people deny their vulnerability, that they are not always in control, and look for a scapegoat. Not healthy for any company, marriage, or country. Aim to achieve goals. Not for the ego, but because they need to be satisfied. Because there is something that needs to be done and you feel that you have been called to fulfill that need. But do not expect it. Accept your limitations. Do your best and enjoy what you have achieved. And if your achievement is not good enough, learn how to do it better next time.

Written by
Dr. Ichak Adizes