What Women and Men Want

January 21, 2011

“Women want love. Men want respect.”I do not remember where I read this, but it stuck in my mind and I have been reflecting on it ever since. What do you think?Now, please note: I do not support the idea that women do not want respect. It is a question of priorities. Women want, first and above all, love, then they want respect. Men want respect first, then love.I have observed that when too much love is showered on men, they feel suffocated. On the other hand, the more love you show women, the more they flourish. Latin lovers use this knowledge as a seduction strategy.And what does “love” mean?I once read that there are three ways to express love: to give possessions; to dedicate time and attention; and to touch.A woman who does not get touched or made love to frequently, who gets little attention and material protection, will not feel loved.Men want respect, and what does “respect” mean? Appreciation for their achievements, no matter how large or how miniscule those achievements are.We are living in a transitional era, in which women and men are exchanging power positions: Women are becoming dominant and men subordinate.In this transition, both women and men suffer. Women still want the love that they always needed, but now they also want the respect that men have had.Men are left wondering how to adjust to the new reality, in which they do not get the respect they need and also have difficulties subordinating themselves to women, who are demanding more and more power.I recognize the possibility that this power struggle might be a generational issue rather than a gender issue. Maybe the younger generations have found a way to balance power. But it remains to be seen whether women’s need for that strong old macho stuff, which seems to be imbedded in them, is really an issue of the past.I wonder what you think.Sincerely,Dr. Ichak Kalderon Adizes

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Dr. Ichak Adizes