Trust has to be earned. It should not be automatically granted.

(This was one of my mistakes in life. And it cost me an enormous amount of money.)

How should one test and build trust?

In English, we say “life is give and take.” In Turkey, an executive once told me that in Turkish, the expression is “life is take and give”—the opposite of the English version.

That explains trust.

When you give first, you trust it will work out. You are willing to take risks. You are willing to be vulnerable. And being vulnerable happens when people trust.

On the other hand, when you take first—once you are sure you have what you want or need—then you give. You are not taking chances. You are not willing to be vulnerable, i.e., to trust that it will work fine.

People who live in fear do not trust. And when they behave in a way that communicates a lack of trust, they reinforce the phenomenon— they are not trusted in return.

So test trust. Start small. Give what you can afford to lose. Pay the price of testing whether there is trust.

The Jewish sage was right—kabdehu ve chashdehu. Respect, but suspect e. That should be the sequence.