In my lectures and books, I have been claiming that no one — and not just executives — is a complete PAEI person. There is not a PAEI husband, one who could excel in all roles (although women expect us to be), and by the same token, stop looking for the PAEI perfect wife. And there is no parent with no deficiencies either. There is no complete child, or even a perfect flower. If something appears perfect, it is only for a moment.

What I said is, I believe, true — but only if I add a few more words: No one is a perfect PAEI at the same time, in every task.

But we are all PAEI over time, in different situations, confronted with different tasks. I, for instance, am a (P) if I have to wash dishes, an (A) when running the Institute, an (E) in my change management role, and an (I) with my spouse and children.

I do, however, have preferences. I love to be (E) (entrepreneurial) and an (I) (Integrator) but  I  only tolerate being a (P) (Producer) and an (A) administrator.

What does it mean, then?

We should differentiate behavior from personality.

Personality is determined by wihch of the PAEI role is stronger when we are born with. Medical research shows that style is driven by certain glands(?). Dr Abravanel claims a (P) style is driven by adrenalin, an (A) by the pituitary gland, the (E) by the thyroid. Galit Raiman, a leading astrologist (check her at YouTube), can tell you the style of a person if you give her the date time and location at birth. We, however, disagree. I claim water is  (A). She claims it is (I). In Japan and South Korea, they have a practice telling personality by checking blood. It is the ketsueki-gata” (血液型) — the idea that a person’s blood type determines their personality. For example, according to their popular view:

• Type A is calm, responsible, detail-oriented, Type (A) in Adizes
• Type B is creative, passionate, individualistic, Type (E)
• Type O is confident, outgoing, a natural leader (take over command), Type (P)
• Type AB: Rational, cool, sometimes mysterious, ???

In Denmark they did a study following babies for twenty years to see if one can predict their style at maturity. Yes, they could.

The lesson to be learned from this is that people do not change. They can improve by making the PAEI roles more balanced but we cannot  make (although many try to) a (P), for instance, become a strong (I). Or develop excellence in (E) in classroom training.

Behavior, on the other hand, is how we act — because the environment, the situation, or the task demands it. (This is my take on the difference between genetics and environment.)

When someone behaves like an (E), do not accuse him or her of being an Arsonist — someone who lights fires and leaves others to put them out. Do not say, “You are such an…” Say instead, “You behave like an…”

We should not brand people and conclude what their personality is, based on their behavior of the moment, unless it repeats itself regardless of the situation and over time.
 
Before getting married or starting a partnership, get to know the other persons personality by watching their behavior in multiple and different situations. Watch what is repetitive, what comes naturally without effort.